Exceptionally Patriarchal Synergy
By Astrid Katz-James
“Corporate wants the Q1 report 2 weeks early,” Dale Doctorson told me at our weekly check-in meeting. I stared at him in pure bafflement.
“Two weeks?!” I said. He looked at the only other attendee of the meeting, Vanessa Masterson. She mouthed something like ‘I told you so.’
“That’s right,” he said, standing up to close the office door. I heard one of our reps on the sale floor making excuses to a potential customer. I’d been working at DesignerToasterWarehouse for three years, and we’d always had plenty of time to complete our quarterly sales reports prior to that day. Oh, and what a day!
“We know that the reports are your babies,” Vanessa pitched in. “We wanted to tell you as soon as we found out.” I sighed deeply.
“When did you find out?” I asked. Dale took a seat and gestured for me to sit down as well. I took the only remaining chair across the desk from them.
“We got the call at 1100 hours,” he said.
“Okay, but why? What ants are in the CEO’s pants? Why did corporate call you ten minutes ago and mess up my whole schedule?” I knew that some of my co-workers wanted to help on the reports, but they would only mess up the system I’d developed for completing them in timely fashion. I had it down to a science! Each week they’d give me their sales numbers, I’d plug them into a spreadsheet, and then the computer would generate a perfectly-formatted report for the boys at HQ to read. It was a good system, the best one I’d developed at any job I’d had.
Vanessa shrugged, “we don’t know. The new Chief Financial Officer started a few days ago. I guess he didn’t like the formatting on your previous reports.”
Dale nodded, “they are a little bit dense.” Already seeing red, I tried to take deep breaths to calm myself. They watched with blank expressions. The off-white walls seemed just a bit closer than they were a minute ago. Finally, Dale stood and walked over to put his hand on my shoulder. “Do you need some water?” I nodded. He fled the room for the water cooler, and Vanessa watched the door close behind him with a hint of interest.
“At least he’s trying to help,” I muttered. She raised an eyebrow. “Sorry if you heard that,” I said at normal volume, “but I feel like you’re just in these meetings to watch me sweat.” Vanessa was the Assistant General Manager at our branch, and we’d exchanged perhaps ten words outside of meetings, in the three years I’d been with the company. For some reason all the sales reps thought she was great. She eyed me coolly.
“I don’t like watching you almost have a panic attack,” she said. I laughed. She did not. “My real guess is that the sexist upper management are doing this because they don’t like having a female accountant.” I stared at her. It was a day full of staring. Sure, everyone thought it was stupid that Dale was the General Manager instead of her, (despite being nice, he was not an exceptional manager) and that the female sales associates had a strict uniform while the males could basically wear any pants and shirt they wanted. That went without saying. But the C-Suite was so far removed from our little shop. Why would they even bother with something so petty? Weren’t they busy doing designer drugs and playing golf?
“Why does the CFO care?” I asked.
“You’re the only female accountant at the whole company.” I stared in open-mouthed shock.
“No, that can’t be right! What about Amanda at our sister location?”
“She quit.”
“Okay, but what about Emma at HQ? I CC her on all my eMails.”
“Emma’s job title is Report Summarizer, they don’t consider that ‘real accounting.’”
“Did they just tell you all of this?”
“No, Dale did. They only called him.”
“I’d heard the rumours that the CEO was an asshole, but I didn’t think that would affect me…” Vanessa shook her head.
“The old CFO was too respectful of women. That’s why he was replaced.”
“Okay, so what do I do? Scramble to get the report done in half the time? I can’t even get the last week of data until next Friday, and after that I’ll only have a week.”
“You could sue the company for discrimination.” I stared at her, which was becoming a bad habit. Did she think I had the money for a lawyer?
“All your jokes are very funny,” I said flatly.
“I’m not joking. If you win the suit you can make the company pay your legal fees.” Sure, but that was a big if. Whoever heard of the little gal winning against a giant company in court? They could hire all the best lawyers, and I’d be lucky to find one who even wanted to take on my case. The door opened, and Dale returned with my cup of water. I thanked him and drank the whole thing. He didn’t seem surprised, glanced at Vanessa, then sat down behind his desk.
“I have some pointers the CFO provided to help you write simpler reports,” he said, “and you can take the rest of the day to go over that if you need to. I’m also going to bring in doughnuts on Monday, what’s your favourite flavour?”
“Jelly Glazed,” Vanessa said. I eyed his desk and saw a notepad with the aforementioned bullet points. I couldn’t quite read them upside-down.
“Kelly?” Dale prompted.
“Oh, cinnamon doughnut holes.” At this he smiled.
“Of course!” Dale picked up the notepad and handed it to me over the desk. I didn’t look at it, instead staring at Vanessa. She mouthed ‘we’ll talk more later’ to me. “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, Kelly,” Dale said with a smile, standing up to get the door for me.
“Don’t be a stranger,” Vanessa said. I knew what she meant. I walked out of Vanessa’s office full of determination, and I was already planning my next move.
“Two weeks?!” I said. He looked at the only other attendee of the meeting, Vanessa Masterson. She mouthed something like ‘I told you so.’
“That’s right,” he said, standing up to close the office door. I heard one of our reps on the sale floor making excuses to a potential customer. I’d been working at DesignerToasterWarehouse for three years, and we’d always had plenty of time to complete our quarterly sales reports prior to that day. Oh, and what a day!
“We know that the reports are your babies,” Vanessa pitched in. “We wanted to tell you as soon as we found out.” I sighed deeply.
“When did you find out?” I asked. Dale took a seat and gestured for me to sit down as well. I took the only remaining chair across the desk from them.
“We got the call at 1100 hours,” he said.
“Okay, but why? What ants are in the CEO’s pants? Why did corporate call you ten minutes ago and mess up my whole schedule?” I knew that some of my co-workers wanted to help on the reports, but they would only mess up the system I’d developed for completing them in timely fashion. I had it down to a science! Each week they’d give me their sales numbers, I’d plug them into a spreadsheet, and then the computer would generate a perfectly-formatted report for the boys at HQ to read. It was a good system, the best one I’d developed at any job I’d had.
Vanessa shrugged, “we don’t know. The new Chief Financial Officer started a few days ago. I guess he didn’t like the formatting on your previous reports.”
Dale nodded, “they are a little bit dense.” Already seeing red, I tried to take deep breaths to calm myself. They watched with blank expressions. The off-white walls seemed just a bit closer than they were a minute ago. Finally, Dale stood and walked over to put his hand on my shoulder. “Do you need some water?” I nodded. He fled the room for the water cooler, and Vanessa watched the door close behind him with a hint of interest.
“At least he’s trying to help,” I muttered. She raised an eyebrow. “Sorry if you heard that,” I said at normal volume, “but I feel like you’re just in these meetings to watch me sweat.” Vanessa was the Assistant General Manager at our branch, and we’d exchanged perhaps ten words outside of meetings, in the three years I’d been with the company. For some reason all the sales reps thought she was great. She eyed me coolly.
“I don’t like watching you almost have a panic attack,” she said. I laughed. She did not. “My real guess is that the sexist upper management are doing this because they don’t like having a female accountant.” I stared at her. It was a day full of staring. Sure, everyone thought it was stupid that Dale was the General Manager instead of her, (despite being nice, he was not an exceptional manager) and that the female sales associates had a strict uniform while the males could basically wear any pants and shirt they wanted. That went without saying. But the C-Suite was so far removed from our little shop. Why would they even bother with something so petty? Weren’t they busy doing designer drugs and playing golf?
“Why does the CFO care?” I asked.
“You’re the only female accountant at the whole company.” I stared in open-mouthed shock.
“No, that can’t be right! What about Amanda at our sister location?”
“She quit.”
“Okay, but what about Emma at HQ? I CC her on all my eMails.”
“Emma’s job title is Report Summarizer, they don’t consider that ‘real accounting.’”
“Did they just tell you all of this?”
“No, Dale did. They only called him.”
“I’d heard the rumours that the CEO was an asshole, but I didn’t think that would affect me…” Vanessa shook her head.
“The old CFO was too respectful of women. That’s why he was replaced.”
“Okay, so what do I do? Scramble to get the report done in half the time? I can’t even get the last week of data until next Friday, and after that I’ll only have a week.”
“You could sue the company for discrimination.” I stared at her, which was becoming a bad habit. Did she think I had the money for a lawyer?
“All your jokes are very funny,” I said flatly.
“I’m not joking. If you win the suit you can make the company pay your legal fees.” Sure, but that was a big if. Whoever heard of the little gal winning against a giant company in court? They could hire all the best lawyers, and I’d be lucky to find one who even wanted to take on my case. The door opened, and Dale returned with my cup of water. I thanked him and drank the whole thing. He didn’t seem surprised, glanced at Vanessa, then sat down behind his desk.
“I have some pointers the CFO provided to help you write simpler reports,” he said, “and you can take the rest of the day to go over that if you need to. I’m also going to bring in doughnuts on Monday, what’s your favourite flavour?”
“Jelly Glazed,” Vanessa said. I eyed his desk and saw a notepad with the aforementioned bullet points. I couldn’t quite read them upside-down.
“Kelly?” Dale prompted.
“Oh, cinnamon doughnut holes.” At this he smiled.
“Of course!” Dale picked up the notepad and handed it to me over the desk. I didn’t look at it, instead staring at Vanessa. She mouthed ‘we’ll talk more later’ to me. “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, Kelly,” Dale said with a smile, standing up to get the door for me.
“Don’t be a stranger,” Vanessa said. I knew what she meant. I walked out of Vanessa’s office full of determination, and I was already planning my next move.